i wasn't sure if i should put this up

how could I tell you?
where do I start?
you are all of me that's left
for all that matters now is my heart

let my body rot
it matters to me not
I'd throw myself to the stormy sea
if only I could make it be
I only i could make you see
it should be me and you
you and me

I lie to you
pretty little words
that slide out so easily
pretty little lies
I'm doing fine, said so cheerfully

the months just glide right by
like the girls who learn to skate on ice
I never could learn though I tried twice
and so they glide; the girls; the months
and out my eyes; tears of ice

you wouldn't like to see me now
I'm like silver that hasn't been shined
my skin is dull; my face is lined
though others tell me this isn't true
it is how i feel inside
when when I was with you
the whole world glittered and shined
but you aren't around anymore
you haven't been for awhile

a secret now
the love I hold for you
because no one believes me
they think it can't possibly be true
i wish it was a lie
then I wouldn't have to try
and move on

I wouldn't have to snatch at the fragments of you
left in my life by some small chance
I wouldn't have to dance
all alone, I wouldn't have to long for you

my grief should not exist
but memories of you are so clouded now
banked far away in the mist

This is not pretend
I don't wish it to be true
i know it
I still love you

poison words on my lips
words that would cause you great harm
tear your life up in big rips
they make me hurt too
though not as they'd hurt you

its like a roller coaster
clanks up and then dips
in that scary wonderful rush
and you feel as if you'd die in the crush
of pleasure and fear
feeling kept far apart
but yet they are so near

I hope i learn from you
when second love comes along
so i can leave out all this
the hurt the longing the doing wrong

next time dear I'll know
and have a warmer flood of love; a kiss more sweet
a better fated time to meet

the green of a forrest glade,
your mellow quiet eyes
and hair so dark
like evening or the shade
ask yourself
and tell me true
could you? do you? miss me too

first love seems to be a phrase that contradicts
how can there be a second?
love is not varied; it's fixed