untitled

don't tell them.
do not let your tongue
take the trip
along your teeth

to loop or dip
stumble; slip the confession
because your heart is just too small
to hold it anymore

it's a stinging realisation
but they will not be your salvation

please retract your statement
so we can cross you off the list
no moment wasted; time spent
on your cries anymore

we will ask you one more time
"are you okay?"
and they told me you were clever
so please don't say
you aren't

I will no say yes
and I will not say no
but behold! and lo!
what I see is not a star

those swirling sparkled dots
each one a dreamed up wish
that never did come true
for me at least

because each night at my window
I searched out to the sky
grabbed at one glinting star
and wished that I would die

but here I am before you
still taking up each wretched breath
I should have been more specific
when I wished the universe for death

because all they did was suck
all the pleasure from my lips
so each step I take; have taken in awhile
is as hollow as your eyes when you look at me and smile

I'm in a white washed wooden boat
and water is pooling at my feet.
there are cracks like spider webs
running up my seat

I can't see the hole but I promise you I'm sinking

now I'm left to thinking
If I call out through the dark
and dear god all there is, is dark
will someone call on back with the sweetness of a lark?

or shall I pray now to St Anthony?
because I'm well and truly lost
but I can't bear the cost

of calling out again
just to have someone stand on shore
have them grasp my hand
take a flying leap to land

just to fall lower than before
not that I even thought it possible.

So I won't say yes
and I won't say no
but I will have you know
my soul was torn to ribbons long before I met you

I just tried to tie them up in bows
make me pretty fresh and new
but I guess that didn't work
so I won't try it again

I'll cut my crimson ribbons free
so they can dance in the breeze.
please don't stare at me so
a girl can't be on show
when her eyes have sprung a leak.

I must confess a great relief
I've kept secret all along
there are better ways than wishing stars
so you won't be burdened by me

for long.